Blood, Sweat and Gears or Big Fat Whiny Post

Saturday we saddled up with good friends for a long, remote ride. Our autumn so far as been quite dry and warm and the trails are showing a bit of wear at this point. I headed out with little expectations of myself, trying to keep it simple and just have a good time and enjoying being outside for hours on end.

Since the fire a few weeks ago I'm a bit paranoid and when I look at a forest I see potential for fire.

We pedaled our way in for awhile, climbing and rolling a long. Losing and finding the trail a few different times, it was an adventure we were all up for. Then it was time to take a little break, eat some food and then carry on and up.

Emma and I.

Then things got interesting for me. I took a tumble while hucking off a innocent rock drop, just landed completely wrong and bloodied up my shin and arm, nothing to bad though but the fall seemed to warp my experience for the rest of the day. I would slide out on corners a few more times, corners that held no technical challenge other then they were washed out and sandy and rarely used. Apparently I broke my rear derailluer during one of these spills and half way through the ride I was left without a granny gear. Okay, no problem, hiking what I can't climb on the bike is no biggie..right after I discovered my broken derailluer Craig's brother discovered his brake lever was not working so we had to tape that up so the pin would stay in.
Yikes, what's going on with this ride! I don't like to complain so I don't for the most part but since this is my blog I will admit that I began to feel sorry for myself, something I don't admire but realize that it happens to the best of us at times. I started to think too much on the gearless induced hike-a-bikes, and this is why.
My stoke for riding has been off this season, I'm not IN LOVE with riding which is weird for me. I'm going through the motions for the most part and it's starting to affect my confidence and ability. I don't want to break up with riding but maybe I need to see other people so to speak. But I know what's bothering me to a certain degree and here it is:

• My bike is getting old and beat up and needs replaced
• My lower back and hips hurt and no amount of stretching is making it go away. I think it's the bike, the frame
• My cheap Shimano shoes have given me a painful corn on my right foot that if there's any hiking can quickly become a sufferfest. I need new shoes
  
• My gear is falling apart, my hydration pack, helmet and gloves all need replaced as well as my derailluer now
  
• The pivot points on my BLT need replaced again, happens every 6mths to a year. This is due to poor VPP design by Santa Cruz which they say they have fixed on their current bikes. But replacing the pivot points is expensive and I've done it at least 5 times since I bought the bike.
  
• I need new brakes or at least brake pads
• I bought a cheap WTB Weirwolf on Chainlove that I keep pinch flatting and creating the need to buy new tubes or possibly a different tire
• And the most frustrating thing is I don't have the money to do any of this
  

Wah!! Yeah, I know, I'm whining and complaining but this is where some of my frustration lies and it's eating away at my stoke. I picked an expensive sport, one that requires continual upgrades and replacements of parts, etc. So I just deal and work around things as best I can.

Just a flesh wound..

Time to head down. At this point I just wanted to be riding alone..something I had eaten earlier on the ride wasn't agreeing with me and I was having pain from gas. It ain't pretty or fun but it was what it was and it wasn't that much fun for me at this point. Though I'm still glad I was out there, regardless of all the frustration and mind crap I gave myself. I keep riding, waiting for that spark, that stoke to reappear, hopeful.

I love to ride, it has always been medicine for me and given me perspective in my life during some of the hardest times and it's just plain fun. I'm going with whatever this is, trying to learn what I need to learn. I just need to give myself a break and make it simple, regardless of what happens I need to enjoy the ride. So please excuse my whining and complaining, I promise it won't happen that often.